Figuratively Burned to the Ground
On December 10, 2010 a terrible fire consumed the Provo Tabernacle during the early morning hours, after a Christmas performance of Lex De Azevedo’s “Gloria.” It was a historic landmark and the community was heartbroken. (Luckily no one was injured.) Sister Linda S. Reeves Spoke about it in a talk during General Conference in October 2013. She said “A devastating fire gutted the interior of the beloved, historic tabernacle in Provo, Utah. It’s loss was deemed a great tragedy by both the community and church members. Many wondered “Why did the Lord let this happen? Surely He could have prevented the fire or stopped the destruction.” Ten months later, during the October 2011 General Conference, there was an audible gasp when President Thomas S. Monsoon announced that the nearly destroyed tabernacle was to become a holy temple - a house of the Lord! Suddenly we could see what the Lord had always known! He didn’t cause the fire, but He allowed the fire to strip away the interior. The Lord allows us to be tested, sometimes to our maximum capacity. We have seen the lives of loved ones – and maybe our own – figuratively burned to the ground and have wondered why a loving and caring Heavenly Father would allow such things to happen. But He does not leave us in the ashes; He stands with open arms, eagerly inviting us to come to Him. He is building our lives into magnificent temples where His spirit can dwell eternally.”
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Around 2012 I started writing on a blog. I had been going through some REALLY difficult and life altering health challenges. In order to keep myself in a better frame of mind I would constantly be reading books, BYU speeches, and conference talks. I would cry and pray and ask for help in understanding why I was being asked to face such a hard trial. My relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior grew SO MUCH as I faced my own refiner’s fire. After a while I felt prompted to share the things He was teaching me with others, so that they could be strengthened as well. He told me to call my blog “A Light in the Darkness,” because the Savior had provided light for me as I faced my dark times. I began writing blog posts about things like “Why Me?” (Why do we go through trials?), “Hearing the Voice of the Lord in the Midst of Trials” (how we can Hear Him in our darkest times.), “A Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit (What does that even mean?), and more. These blog posts ended up helping a lot of my friends and family face their own challenges, but honestly helped me more than I can ever explain. I would read them over and over when I was at my weakest. I felt like they weren’t even my words - they were Heavenly Father’s. Those blog posts were special and sacred to me.
When I felt prompted to start my podcast I was inspired to make some changes to my blog. I was still writing on it, because my podcast was more me sharing AMAZINGLY INSPIRATIONAL stories of other people, and my blog continued to be where I shared what I was learning and experiencing myself. I felt like I needed to get off of blogger and onto a more professional website as I continued to grow and change. I spent hours learning how to put together a website and make it look professional. It took so much effort and time moving each blog post over to my new website, but once I was finished I deleted my blogger account. I started my podcast, and continued writing on my blog as well. During this time I was also experiencing the most difficult trial I have experienced yet - the end of my 24 year marriage. It was excruciatingly painful, and the grief left me barely able to function in so many ways. It was during that time that I unintentionally let my domain ownership lapse, and I (the technology challenged person I am) had unfortunately not thought of backing everything up every once in a while. I lost ALL of my blog posts. Every. Single. One. (I have had so many people offer to help try to find them, but I promise they are nowhere to be found.) If I am being honest, I have been feeling immense grief over this as well. Those posts were so sacred to me. They represented all I had learned. They were a journal of sorts. My history.
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But over the past few years the images of the Provo Tabernacle on fire kept coming to my mind. It was good, beautiful, and sacred. While I am not sure the Lord caused the fire to happen, He guided the Prophet to turn it into a temple. I don’t believe Heavenly Father caused me to lose my blog posts. But I do hope that He can help me turn it into something better. In closing, Sister Reeves said “I testify that the Lord has a plan for each of our lives. Nothing that happens is a shock or surprise to Him. He is all-knowing and all-loving. He is eager to help us, to comfort us, and to ease our pain as we rely on the power of the Atonement and honor our covenants. The trials and tribulation that we experience may be the very things that guide us to come unto Him, and cling to our covenants so that we might return to His presence and receive all that the Father hath.” I am excited to start this next chapter, and hope you will join me!
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